Thursday, April 28, 2005

I guess I'm catching up

I finally figured out today... I am a suburban mom.

I have always had a hard time viewing myself from the outside and seeing all the pieces as whole. However, today for some reason, I began to see myself as a suburban mom.

I have lived in the suburbs all my life, that should be nothing new. I've been a mom for almost 2 years, that should be nothing new. I've worked as a teacher for 4 years, nothing new. I've driven my SUV over 40,000 miles in 3 years, nothing new.

I'm not sure I can put my finger on why, before today, it did not occur to me that I am a classic suburban mom. It won't be long before I'm off to soccer practice and dance classes and making sloppy joes for dinner.

I feel old today.

Thank you

Thank you to Jamie who taught me how to fix my blog problem!

Thank you to my sick days that I've accumulated for allowing me to take yesterday off to do laundry and read a cheap novel!

Thank you to Brianna who melts my heart when she says thank you in the morning after I tear off a piece of my Egg Mc Muffin (the muffin only) to give to her.

Thank you to Adam who has been super-dad this week so that I could attend a lot of nearly pointless meetings and dance rehearsals that go no where!

On to other things...

I was asked to co-lead a meeting tomorrow on our teacher institute day. (YES! Teachers actually do work on those days!)

On one hand, I feel that this is a wonderful opportunity and I am honored that they trust me to help lead 30 of my co-workers in the right(?) direction. Since I am training to be a school administrator, this is something I really want to do well. And I think I can do it well.

On the other hand, I feel like I have to defend myself to my slacker co-workers at the same time. These people are my good friends and they just don't understand my ambition to be seen as a value to my school building. They are happy just hiding in their classrooms and not doing more than the minimum outside of that. These people tease me for caring about the running of the school and the decisions made. And I feel that I have to defend myself to them. Why is that? Why do I need to pretend that I'm not proud of being chosen, to stress the fact that I really wasn't given a choice in the matter.

Is this my insecurity or their selfishness as friends?

Friday, April 22, 2005

blogging vacation

I may not be blogging much right now... not that I was real often before but...

1. Blogger will not let me view my own site right now, everytime I try, I get sent to the dashboard, not the site itself. Weird, and a little discouraging.

2. We have blogging ring at our school! The kids are now into blogs and are being somewhat dangerous and inappropriate in the information they are sharing. SO- Blogs are being monitored all over our building to see how the kids are managing to update them from school and just to make sure our kids are safe. SO- I hope this one won't get me in trouble, Blogger is not being monitored that I know of, our kids are using something called, so that is being blocked currently. Still, I feel a little unsafe blogging from school right now.

I hope to be back with you soon, or find more energy to blog from home.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Beautiful Brianna

Today, I dressed Brianna with all the preppy-ness I just can't seem to manage for myself! Her little pink "Izod" style shirt, whose collar just won't lay down for some reason, and her little white shorts looked adorable with her matching pink scrunch socks and white keds!

I couldn't resist!

She woke up this morning and proceeded to refuse to leave her crib until she could show me her blanket. Now, I have seen this blanket every day for almost 2 years now! I couldn't figure out why this was so important... then, through my own early morning haze, I realized she was actually saying blanket. She didn't care about showing me the blanket, except that she was showing me that she could say it's name.!!!!!!

I'm so proud.... Harvard, here we come!

Thursday, April 14, 2005

I am a lucky girl

My husband loves me even though I am sick and cranky all the time!

My Daughter loves me and doesn't want to leave me... except at night when she asks to go to bed when she is tired. ( Parents will understand how amazing that is!)

My Mother loves me enough to drive out to my house any time she can to either baby sit or help me get stuff done.

The rest of my family is also wonderful!

particularly today, I feel like a lucky girl because I got away with a lie last night. My law professor assigned us a very big project several weeks ago, which I of course left till the last minute... and then didn't get it done in time to turn in when it was due last Wednesday. SO... yesterday I turned in the finished product and told him that it was in my folder all along and that I was very embarrassed that I had forgotten to turn it in! He gave me a hard time at first, but only in fun. He didn't seem to care at all.

I don't think I will tempt that fate again any time soon!

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Call the men in the white coats

Well, I am trying hard to make this a positive place. I have forbidden myself from talking about sickness or any other unhappy thing right now. So, of course that's all I can think about to write.

Except maybe... I have lots of thoughts on the fact that Britney Spears has just announced that she is pregnant. I don't really know her but I am afraid she will be a horrible mother. She just seems so self-involved, and young. I know lots of people have kids young, but she acts young. And what about Kevin? He just left one woman who was 6 mo pregnant with his child at the time. Several gossip magazines I've read say that he doesn't want children and that this could break up their marriage. I don't really care except that it is one thing to bring a child into a strong marriage... it can be tough... but if one person isn't happy about it. What will happen then?

One of my strangest thoughts is that maybe I should e-mail Britany! If she's just announcing it now, she's probably within a few weeks of my due date and maybe she would like another pregnant girl to hash things out with. This is where the men in the white coats should come and take me away. Do I actually think that she would read my e-mail and want to be pen pals or something? Well, no, not really, which is why I'd never actually do it... but I've seriously considered it.

Which maybe means that actually I want another pregnant person to talk to. My friends and family are great about listening and trying to understand but there is just no substitute for a friend who is close to your due date who can REALLY understand and offer advice that might actually work. I love my mom, and my friends, but they either haven't been pregnant, or not for over 25 years! They don't really know how to help, or that maybe I don't need help, I just need them to nod and say "Oh" or "that's too bad" at all the right times. Another pregnant woman would understand that.

Call in the straight jacket... I'm really loosin' it today!

Thursday, April 07, 2005

At Jamie's request

In just a moment I will tell you all a story that Jamie assured me is perfect Blog material.

First, let me say... 1. This is my first post from home! 2. I decided to stay home and rest today, I am proud of my decision. It wasn't my most responsible decision ever, but I feel better than I have in over a week.

Now... On to Jamie's new favorite story....

Jamie and I were talking on the phone last night and all of a sudden she had to stop to tell Doc to stop licking the couch. This prompted me to assure her that that was nothing. Tuesday afterschool I had taken a nap to try and feel better. Adam had taken Brianna away to play for the most lovely hour nap on the couch, all curled up under one of those knit blankets... Anyway, I was just waking up when they came back. Brianna saw that my eyes were open and rushed right over to get my attention. Well, I must not have been quick enough to give her my full, undivided, fully awake attention. She decided to head butt me in the shoulder. This is not an evil act, it is her way of hugging/cuddling. Well, she stayed that way for a moment and I thought it was very sweet... Until I looked down at her and she was licking the blanket!

In my horror that she was licking the "icky" blanket, I pushed her little chest back until she could no longer reach the blanket with her abnormally long, pointy tongue (which has previously been compared to Gene Simmons). She thought this was now hysterical. She leaned back in to lick the blanket some more after giving me a look that clearly said "mom, you are ridiculous and I am going to lick this blanket just so you push me back again." We went on like this for several minutes. She would lick the blanket, I would push her back, she would give me her devilish smile, and we were at it again.

Its amazing how often babies and toddler stories are similar to dog stories!

(EVen as I type this... she is licking a piece of paper that I've just had to confiscate!)

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Update (read my earlier post first)

After a small snack, and some moderate work, I am feeling slightly better. I have also come to the conclusion that there is no way Hades is going to freeze over in time for me to get all my grad school work done for tonight, SO, I'm just going to do as much as I can and take my lumps if he decides not to be generous when I tell him it's not all done.

I'm still pondering the thing about work tomorrow....

PS- notice how I seem to have tons of time to update my blog not once, but at least twice, and still not get significant amounts of other work done! Is spring here or What!

Not really "lovin' it"

Today am definitely NOT "lovin' it". I feel like sh*t on a stick. I have 12 hours of work to do and only 6 hours to do it in. I have grad class tonight. I won't see Bri (or Adam) until they are tired and cranky. I'm hungry. I'm nauseous.


maybe I'll stay home from work tomorrow... Don't remind me that I've just had 10 days off... I am stressed and tired and that makes me sick and the only way to get un-sick is to sleep and I don't have time to sleep....Unless I take tomorrow off work. I'm going to keep pondering this one....

Monday, April 04, 2005

New product

I was recently SO SICK of drinking ice water that I decided to try a new product...

Crystal Light now makes single serving pouches made to be mixed with a bottle of water, have you seen these commercials? SO, you just put the tiny pouch into your purse, then when you inevitably buy your bottle of water at some point in your day, you dump the little package in, shake, and voila! Yummy, flavored water, with only 5 calories.

They currently have 4 flavors; Ice Tea, Lemonade, Peach Lemonade, and (my fav.) Raspberry Ice.

I highly recommend this treat. Obviously I am ridiculously excited about this, excited enough to ramble on for way too long on the blog...

so much to say

Well, It's been a while... Last week my family took a very nice trip out to southern Arizona to visit Adam's parents. While we enjoyed our four days in the sun and with his parents, and there were many things that I enjoyed about it, there are several things I DID NOT enjoy that I now need to get off my chest.

1. The plane ride down in which we forgot a passifier and Brianna fussed/cried/screamed the entire 3 hours.
2. My sunburn, enough said.
3. No alone time... thus is the nature of a family vacation but still a negative
4. The trip home... for several reasons;
a. I was already feeling sick, but landings really kill me
b. a layover in Denver
c. a 1hr 20 min delay in Denver
d. not leaving Denver until 11:00 Denver time, thats MIDNIGHT in Chicago
e. landing in Chicago at 1:58 only to have the daylight savings time change make it 3:15 by
the time we got to baggage claim.
f. puking my guts out on the side of 294 at about 4 in the morning. (morning sickness +
tired+ 2 plane rides + airport food)

I think now I will go reflect on how I'm supposed to be feeling better after a nice relaxing vacation but instead feel more tired and especially ill this morning.