S.T.R.E.S.S

I read somewhere recently that moving is the 2nd most stressful thing an adult can go through, second only to divorce.

STRESS.....

I have SO much to do this week before we close next week and my over-involved self volunteered for a workshop on Thursday and Friday so I will be totally out of touch for most of those 2 days and then I found out today that one of my students is leaving for Europe this weekend and will be gone A MONTH visiting a dying family member and I have to give her enough work to do to keep caught up for A MONTH and did I mention I won't be able to do anything productive on Thursday or Friday?!?

Rejuvinated... sort of.

Wednesday I decided that I think I felt a little spring fever coming on and that I (cough, cough) would need to take Thursday off to "recover". IE- I called in sick to work on Thursday so I could enjoy one entirely wonderful day to myself!

Now... I think I cursed myself...

I mean, my day was lovely. I got some much needed things done for the move, and I read for 3 consecutive hours without interruption or screaming in the background, I took myself to breakfast at Panera and played on the computer, thank you free wi-fi!

However, now I am sick. I mean actually might go to the doctor later sick. My left sinus feels like a rock and now my ears ache and I generally feel like I'm moving underwater. To top that... I am dizzy on and off if I try and look down and read. I look a little strange reading/grading papers with the paper held directly out from my face!

Oh Well, It was worth it!

Lessons from Elementary School

Boy and Girl, Sittin' in a tree.
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
First comes love,
Then comes MARRIAGE,
THEN comes a baby in the baby carriage!

Someone, and someone else, and someone else, and someone else forgot to listen though!

Engaged, not engaged, Tomato, Tom(ah)to....It's just too much!
Am I officially old now?

But I might need it!

Adam wants me to start packing. Actually, he would even do the packing if I just tell him what to box up. (He's a GREAT guy!)

FYI- we can start moving things into the new house in just under 3 weeks. We have to be completely out of our current house in about 5 weeks.

I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO PACK! What can I live with out for 5 whole weeks (more like 8-10 by the time I actually unpack it again)? We packed up a bunch of mommy's kitchen toys... We packed up some kids toys (6 days ago and no one noticed yet... sad huh?). I could probably pack up linens or something.

I'm just convinced that whatever I pack, I will need it the next day. Yes- I know I haven't used in in months or years, but tomorrow I WILL! but only if I pack it today.

a link kind of day

Creepy!

I am sad

I admit, I have my own religious struggles but I can never, will never, understand faith that does not advocate for itself. God would not want this.

I need to go hug my kids!

quiet, lazy, day

One of the luxuries of teaching middle school, is that when directed properly, the children can work for extended periods of time on their own. IE- I can plan activities that are both educational and allow me to have a whole day "to myself".

The problem with this plan is when I plan a day like this... say for instance, TODAY... I very seldom actually use my time wisely. I get the kids started each class period, and then sit down to do my mountain of paperwork and grading, and then the strangest thing happens.

The Internet CALLS MY NAME! Literally, I can hear my computer calling out to me...
Come check your e-mail....
Search for furniture...
Check out summer vacations...
Send stupid chain e-mails...

So here it is 10:30... I've been at work for over 3 hours... and have gotten no work done.
Oh Well.

The battle is won, the war continues

I would like to document, for prosperity and the good of my brain, the events of the evening of Tuesday, April 1. And while this is a long frickin' story, it is no joke people!

The family was having "catch-as-catch-can" for dinner. AKA- when your hungry, eat what you want. At approximately 6:15 pm, Brianna decided it was time to pick her dinner. This is no easy feat when mommy won't let you have plain noodles (because it takes to long to cook). So Brianna stands in the door to the pantry. And she swings the pantry door. And she hangs on the pantry door. And she bangs the door into the refrigerator. And she accidentally bangs the door in to Grant. And she hangs on the door some more. All while muttering "hmmmm".

Mommy is getting annoyed so I calmly got down on one knee, held Brianna's shoulders gently to get her attention, and said "Please stop playing with the door".

Brianna says "OK Mommy."

Within 3 seconds flat, she is playing with the door. Now, rationally, I know she isn't doing it on purpose, she probably doesn't even realize. However, she knows better and I am getting really annoyed now.

I again took her by the shoulders and asked her to repeat after me. "I won't play with the door". She silently refused.

I tried to explain that mommy has already asked her once and she knew better. Silent refusal with some wiggling.

I explained that if she says the words I will know she heard me. I explain that I need her to be a "good listener" and say the words. Enter lots of wiggling and angry face. She says angrily, "I'll say it if you let go of me". I let go, she runs away silently.

Perhaps I will summarize a little here... I am pissed! I take her shoulders again, progressing to a baby like cradle hold when squirming becomes thrashing. For about 10 minutes I hold her and repeat calmly that she can get up when she says " I won't play with the door". She cries. She screams. She makes the angry grunting noise and shoots daggers with her eyes. (Meanwhile Grant thinks this is alternately fun and wants his turn, or he screams because I am not paying attention to him.)

From the kitchen floor we progressed to the "time-out" spot. I instruct a crying Brianna to think about being a good listener and I'll be back when she's ready to say the words. Every 2-3 minutes for the next 30 minutes, I check on her. She does some fake crying, she sneaks out of time out to see the TV, she says shes ready and then refuses to say it, she says it in her meanest voice and yells at me.

People, this was not fun. This was torture.

Eventually I won. She said the words nicely and around 7:15 settled in to some Cheerios for dinner. Holy *&%#.

I think I may start researching boarding schools. If this is 4, I am not looking forward to 14!

Still Kickin'

I just felt the need to post something to recognize that I was still alive.

Since my last post:
1. We had a nice spring break at home. Sure everyone was sick but we relaxed a lot.
2. We are officially under contract on both homes... the one we're buying and the one we're selling. A few hurdles remain but it might be time to buy some boxes!
3. We stopped cleaning our house. (see #2)
4. We drove 3+ hours to swim in a pool and do nothing. Well actually, we went to campaign for my aunt who was running for local political office. It was a long boring day and unfortunately it didn't seem to help much.
5. Back to work... enter frantic-ness.
6. Found out that THIS SATURDAY is kindergarten registration for the new school district; became more frantic because we NEED to get in to the extended day program and that is first come first serve and we aren't actually residents yet and can we even register at all and if we wait until we are resident's there is NO way we are getting into the program we moved for!
7. Made a few phone calls... We can register by showing our contract on the new house. AND we don't even have to wait our turn... as a district teacher I was able to bend the rules and we can register at 8am. (We were originally assigned by last name and couldn't register until 3:00pm- Exactly when we had planned to be 1 hour away!)
8. WHEW!
9........

Well actually that might be it. I'm sure there is more but now I'm tired from typing without ever pressing the period. Maybe tomorrow I will tell you about my 4 going on 15 year old and her 40 minute temper tantrum/stubborn streak!

Lucky 13

13 years ago today I went on a blind date with someone I met on the Internet. We squeezed in a quick first date at Subway before I had to report to play practice. Later that evening I told my best friend/college roommate that he was "OK" and that "I guess I'd go out with him again".

Tonight we will recreate that first date. This time we will have our 2 adorably rambunctious children in tow and will probably spend the entire time planning our big move into our new home.

13 years can go so fast... and so much can change.
Luckily the important things are the same... and everything else is so much better!

I hope I don't jinx it....

We sold the house!!!!!!!!

We have accepted an offer on our house... well actually we've been negotiating since Monday afternoon but late last night we left our emotions out of it (mostly) and decided to accept the offer.

I am feeling quite a few emotions today. I look at what has been MY house for 6 years and know that in about 2 months, it won't be MINE anymore. It will be some other family's home.

Some other family will put their children to bed in the nursery where my children first slept through the night. Someone else will bathe in the tub where my children had first baths and water fights and blew bubbles. No one will know that the flowering tree in the back yard was "The Brianna Tree" because we planted it to celebrate her first birthday. No one will remember when the living room/dining room was empty of furniture and Brianna used it learn to walk and run. No one will look out the bedroom window and remember all the nights I sat there and nursed the babies throughout the night.

I try to remind myself of all the memories we are about to make in our new house. It will be the place I take pictures of Brianna and Grant before taking them to the first day of school. They will learn and grow in this new house too... a new house we LOVE and can't wait to live in. But it won't be the house I brought my new babies to when we came home from the hospital. It won't be our first home, that home now belongs to someone else.

I can only hope they love it as much as we did.

Where did my pictures go?

Sorry about the below post, I don't know where my pictures went... they were there when I checked it earlier.... This is THE MOST adorable baby being hugged by a gigantic dog!

If you want to give me your e-mail, and I actually know you or can verify you exist, I will forward you the e-mail.

In an e-mail I received today

Instructions for properly hugging a baby:

1. First, find a baby.

2. Second, be sure that the object you found was
indeed a baby by employing classic sniffing techniques.

3. Next you will need to flatten the baby before actually beginning the
hugging process.

4. The 'paw slide'
Simply slide paws around baby and prepare for possible close-up.

5. Finally, if a camera is present, you will need to execute
the difficult and patented 'hug, smile, and lean' so as to
achieve the best photo quality.

Stress is my shadow

SO- I don't talk about work much. It's not a good idea to blog about work... I mean, you know I'm a teacher, but not where or who...

But I have to put this out there...

Yesterday, at school, in the middle of the school day, a child tried to hang himself from a stairwell/landing. Thanks to the quick actions of one of his friends, and some nearby teachers, he didn't succeed. The child was known as a little disturbed but no one knew it was like this. Even his friends didn't believe him as he started to put the thing around his neck. One friend reportedly helped him slip it around his neck thinking he was joking... that same friend who tried to save him by lifting him back up seconds later.

Some of this is rumor, some is validated but not yet public information, some is public. I didn't even know this boy but I am having a hard day. In 9 years of teaching, and as a future administrator, I've been brought in on some hard kids/cases. This beats all.

Why does this world have to be so hard?

When I went home, I told Brianna I was sad. She's 4... she doesn't ask questions, she just gives the world's best neck-breaking hugs!

Like sanity and time for myself...

Jamie's Tag will just have to wait!

Love you James!!!

The typical morning car ride

In this scene, the characters are:
Johanna: The harried mother who is trying to eat breakfast and drive.
Grant: The 2 1/2 year old boy who is learning to talk and like attention.
Brianna: The almost 5 year old girl who is part patient saint and part victim.

(For the sake of the script, the strange garbled language of the 2 year old will be translated into real English.)

G: Pancake, Pancake mommy.
J: Are you eating your pancakes Grant?
G: Pancake, eat pancake mommy.
G: Pancake in bag mommy.
G: Eat one pancake mommy.
J: Good Job Grant, Eat your pancakes.
G: Moon, Moon, Moon, Moon, Mommy.
G: Pancake moon mommy.
G: (progressively louder) Moon Pancake, Moon Pancake mommy.
B: Mom, he's trying to tell you he took a bite out of his pancake and it looks like a moon.
J: Oh, Thank's Bri. Did you make a moon pancake Grant?
G: Yeah, moon pancake.
G: (louder and louder) Moon, Moon, Moon, pancake, moon pancake mommy.
J: Eat the moon Grant.
G: Bite Moon Mommy?
G: I eat moon pancake mommy.
G: (still louder) Boat, Boat, Boat pancake mommy.
J: Is your pancake a boat now Grant?
G: Yes mommy.
G: Boat, Boat, Boat in water mommy.
G: Boat in water mommy, water, water, boat in water mommy.
J: OK Grant, you made a boat.
G: Boat water mommy.
J: Yes Grant, Boats go in the water, good honey, eat the boat.
J: How are you doing Brianna?
B: (answer overlapped and eventually drowned out by Grant's next line)
I want more pancakes mom; mine are gone already.
G: (LOUDER) I eat boat pancake mommy. Eat boat, Eat boat, Eat boat mommy.
J: (LOUDEST) OK Grant, you ate your boat.
Brianna, I'm sorry, I don't have any more. You can eat cereal at school.
- a few seconds of silence-
G: another pancake in bag mommy.
G: pancake, eat another pancake mommy, pancake, pancake
J: (rolls eyes) Yes Grant, you have another pancake, eat it.
G: pancake, eat mommy?
G: Moon pancake mommy!
- repeat for each of the next 5 pancakes!-

I felt like talking to no one in particular

I was looking at Amalah's site today and thinking how big Noah is getting... and pondering when it was between 2 and 3 that they stop looking like big babies and start looking like little children.

Grant is totally changing in that way. He doesn't really look like a baby anymore, and hasn't for some time, but especially recently he seems to look like a real live boy! Something about their faces and they way they carry themselves, and the way they look at you like "yeah right mom, I am so NOT doing whatever you just asked me, and HA!"

Grant has such a personality now, he talks A.L.L. THE FREAKIN' TIME. He never wants to do or eat what the rest of us have. His teacher told me the other day that he had "a severe case of the Two's". I think that's the nice way of saying my son is a holy terror one minute and a sweet little angel the next minute. Especially if you give in to what he wants!

Brianna has been trying so hard to help us because she's old enough to know when mommy and daddy are getting frustrated. She wants to be a good big sister but she's 4 1/2, she just can't sometimes. She tries to stop him from taking things out of the drawer, and ends up closing the drawer on his fingers. She comes to tell us he's making a mess and he throws hard plastic toys at her. She tries to get him food out of the pantry, but all she can reach is the chips and fruit snacks, and mommy said "no more".

I love my children very much. They are amazing little people who grow and change everyday.
They also annoy the heck out of me and does anyone want to borrow them for the weekend?

How can all these emotions happen simultaneously??????????

quickies

Go away perverts!

1. I made it to 31 without having braces. According to my fine dentist whom I trust, I will not be able to say the same thing at 32.

2. My children are SO annoying it's cute! The big one has a 13 year old sass mouth and the little one narrates his entire day! Maybe I will be bored enough later to bring you some of that.

3. I don't remember the last time I took pictures of my children. I am a horrible mother!

4. Work is settling a little, and I am counting down every day until spring break!

5. The new house is still up in the air because of attorney review issues.

6. The old house is not going anywhere. 4 months on the market and not a single showing. Looks like the price will be dropping yet again next week.

7. Without thinking, I just ate an entire box of Peanut Butter Patty Girl Scout Cookies! What was the last stupid thing you did?

8. I can't spell check my entries anymore because work internet is strange and moody.

Thrilled and Chilled

I have been reading Amalah for several years now, ever since Jamie got me hooked.

If you don't read Amalah, you should check her out. I connected right away because at the time she was pregnant with her son Noah. I was pregnant with Grant. CLICK. Noah is actually a scant 3 weeks older than Grant and I still read daily to see what he's doing and how she's holding up. She is funny and real.

Well, this week when her dream of a second pregnancy became a reality, I cried for her. And I cried for me. Because I don't think I will ever know that instant joy caused by a little pink line again. It is becoming more real that we can not afford, or should not afford, a third child. Beyond that, I think we are already outnumbered at 2-2. (The puppy dog face trumps reason every time!)

I will still read Amalah daily and live through her. I will pray for her and wish I lived closer so we could run into each other at the grocery store and I could confess that I'm stalking her.
Meanwhile, I will be a little sad that I'm not pregnant with her this time around.

But the kids are really good...

I was on a posting roll for a while there... and then....

-3 snow days out of 6 weekdays.
-A home inspection.
-My students turned in a research paper to be graded.
-I added that to the pile of homework and classwork.
(That wasn't getting graded due to house distractions.)
-Parent-Student-Teacher conferences.
-A major competition for the flag team I coach.
(Which was further complicated by said snow days.)
(However we got 1st so that was COOL!)

SO... I've been distracted and out of touch.
And as if that weren't enough, for the last 3 days our work e-mail system has been more down then not. When was the last time you went for more than a day with out comunicating via e-mail at work. I think this might be more detrimental then the snow days!

I feel buried alive.