Yesterday was a perfect day! My work day was relatively easy and without trauma. I worked one-on-one with a fabulous student who learned an entire dance in a half an hour, even though she is not a dancer by nature. It's not the best dance I've ever created, but it fits the play well and I am proud of it. Then I went to McDonald's and had a very peaceful, fattening, dinner by myself. (Which I thoroughly enjoyed! Sometimes I like being by myself). OK- going on, I went to grad class, participated in some lively discussion that reaffirmed my desire to progress down this particular career path, and even got done early! So I got home in time to hold Brianna, play with her, and watch my favorite TV shows!
The one kink in the day was that as I tried to put Bri to bed early, which she sorely needed!, it seems that her crib rail fell off it's sliding track! I have no idea how such a thing happened, and we were only able to make it worse last night when we tried to fix it.... But we (Adam) came up with a good temporary solution and I'm sure we will manage to get it fixed this weekend.
But all in all, Yesterday, just when I needed it, showed me that I can be crazy busy, and still love it! SOMETIMES!
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
self-psychiatry
Why do I take on so much stuff? Is it because my mom always did and I think I should? Is it because I want to feel important? or needed? Why isn't it enough that I have a happy family? do I really need less time at home? I think hard before taking something on, I know it's side effects, but I still do more and more stuff! WHY?
Monday, January 24, 2005
far too long
Well, I suppose it's about time I get my butt in gear and get a post up.
It has been a very long couple of weeks around here. Adam's grandmother passed away on the 13th so we flew out to California for a long weekend to attend the services. Now, while there are definite benefits to being in San Francisco on a weekend it is below 10 degrees in Chicago, It was not a good weekend.
Saturday we spent over 7 hours on a plane, with a very active 19 mo. old! It's only supposed to be a 4 1/2 hour flight but we had over 2 hours of delays. (Never Fly United!) The day was punctuated by Brianna's very first temper tantrum, complete with head thrashing, arched back, and hard kicking legs. Why a temper tantrum.... because her parents (and the airline) insisted that she be strapped into her seat during take off.
Sunday, services, all day. If you've never been to a Jewish funeral (and I hadn't prior to Sun.) it is very intense. I've been to numerous Christian funerals but this was so much more intense. We actually had to help shovel the dirt on to the coffin. It was a very touching ceremony and has wonderful sentiment behind it, but it was so much more final than what I was used to. (Which basically included walking away and trusting that someone else took care of lowering the coffin and covering it, etc.) I've said it before, I'll say it again, VERY intense.
After that, Brianna was really sick the whole of Monday, and Tuesday was another flying day, better this time but still really exhausting!
Since then, we've just been trying to recover mentally and physically. We had a very nice weekend of doing nothing this weekend. Well, nothing but shoveling out our driveway every few hours. We received more than 11 inches of snow this weekend! UGH! The piles are so high on some street corners that you can't see traffic coming, eek!
All in all, I'm busy as usual (see title of site!) but really not lovin' it right now!
It has been a very long couple of weeks around here. Adam's grandmother passed away on the 13th so we flew out to California for a long weekend to attend the services. Now, while there are definite benefits to being in San Francisco on a weekend it is below 10 degrees in Chicago, It was not a good weekend.
Saturday we spent over 7 hours on a plane, with a very active 19 mo. old! It's only supposed to be a 4 1/2 hour flight but we had over 2 hours of delays. (Never Fly United!) The day was punctuated by Brianna's very first temper tantrum, complete with head thrashing, arched back, and hard kicking legs. Why a temper tantrum.... because her parents (and the airline) insisted that she be strapped into her seat during take off.
Sunday, services, all day. If you've never been to a Jewish funeral (and I hadn't prior to Sun.) it is very intense. I've been to numerous Christian funerals but this was so much more intense. We actually had to help shovel the dirt on to the coffin. It was a very touching ceremony and has wonderful sentiment behind it, but it was so much more final than what I was used to. (Which basically included walking away and trusting that someone else took care of lowering the coffin and covering it, etc.) I've said it before, I'll say it again, VERY intense.
After that, Brianna was really sick the whole of Monday, and Tuesday was another flying day, better this time but still really exhausting!
Since then, we've just been trying to recover mentally and physically. We had a very nice weekend of doing nothing this weekend. Well, nothing but shoveling out our driveway every few hours. We received more than 11 inches of snow this weekend! UGH! The piles are so high on some street corners that you can't see traffic coming, eek!
All in all, I'm busy as usual (see title of site!) but really not lovin' it right now!
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Regrets
I was reading Jamie's blog today and she was thinking about her regrets like never going for her childhood dream of being a ballerina... and it got me thinking...
I regret a lot of things in my life. It's not that I am an unhappy person, because I'm not. You'll just have to take my word for it. I love my family and my career. I have enough material things. But it doesn't stop me from having regrets.
I regret not continuing as a dancer. I wasn't very good but I loved how I felt when I danced. I don't get that same feeling anymore because I've let my skills slide so far.
All my regrets about my earlier life really center around the lack of self-confidence I had. I've never been a real outgoing person, I would even classify myself as shy. I always seemed to reach a point in my activites where I no longer felt good enough to continue; Dance, Judging, Coaching, Dating. Thank God my husband came along when he did!
These days I worry more about what I will regret later. If I become a stay-at-home mom, will I regret not teaching or being a principal? If I become a principal, will I regret the time lost with my kids? If I spend my money on blank will I be sorry later? What if I don't buy it?
I have a lot to think about!
I regret a lot of things in my life. It's not that I am an unhappy person, because I'm not. You'll just have to take my word for it. I love my family and my career. I have enough material things. But it doesn't stop me from having regrets.
I regret not continuing as a dancer. I wasn't very good but I loved how I felt when I danced. I don't get that same feeling anymore because I've let my skills slide so far.
All my regrets about my earlier life really center around the lack of self-confidence I had. I've never been a real outgoing person, I would even classify myself as shy. I always seemed to reach a point in my activites where I no longer felt good enough to continue; Dance, Judging, Coaching, Dating. Thank God my husband came along when he did!
These days I worry more about what I will regret later. If I become a stay-at-home mom, will I regret not teaching or being a principal? If I become a principal, will I regret the time lost with my kids? If I spend my money on blank will I be sorry later? What if I don't buy it?
I have a lot to think about!
Friday, January 07, 2005
Bugger!
Since I primarily use the computer at work... and it won't let me download the necessary stuff... no pictures!
general random thoughts
Today I just need to get out some general random thoughts! I'm not going to spell check and I refuse to edit myself today.
1. We had a huge snow fall this week here in Chicagoland and as a teacher, I had every finger, toe, and other extremity crossed hoping for a day off... no dice! Despite the fact that my 25 min drive took almost an hour (due to horrible road conditions) and our district had several minor bus accidents (due to ice), no day off for me! Now, if your not a teacher, you are already thinking that I get plenty of days off and why do I need another one for goodness sake? WELL, I DO! It's not like I can just take a day off whenever I please. In your job, if your not there, the work just waits for you until you get back, or someone else does it and it doesn't matter. Thats not how it works for teachers. If I take a day off, I have to plan ahead all the work I would have done that day and leave copious notes so someone who isn't a teacher can attemp to do all the things I have been trained to do. And THEN- I have to re-do parts of it when I return to make sure it was done right so I can successfully go on to the next hundred things I have to do. UGH- Why didn't I become a banker or some kind of corporate person? I need to win the lottery or something and take a year off.
Which leads me to:
2. I just got to spend the most amazing two weeks with my daughter. I forget sometimes how much happens in the 8-9 hours I'm at work everyday! Now that we are all back in our work/daycare routine, I miss her horribly all day long. I pains me to hear all the wonderful things she did each day because, while I'm happy she did them and that she had a happy day, I missed it.
3. Yesterday, I missed the first time she played in snow! I can't really blame the babysitter, all the kids were outside playing in it, she couldn't make my daughter stay inside just because I wasn't there to photograph or video tape this big event. I'm really sad. I hope the rain holds off long enough to atleast get a second snow experience on tape this Sat.
4. Why do they make white gloves for children? I purchased this adorable little rose colored jacket for Bri (my daughter) and with it's light pink roses, it just seemed to need this cute little winter white gloves. I know rookie mistake right... any experienced moms could have told me this was a bad idea, but I didn't know! But why do they make gloves that after 10 min in the snow look like the've been run over by 10 dirty semi-trucks? This weekend I'm going to find a snowsuit that will go with black gloves! Or maybe I should just finish off the white ones and dye them.... hmmmm
ENOUGH! I'm going to spend my spare time today teaching myself how to add pictures and links to this site. It's time for me to get my butt into gear and be a more active part of the blogging community.
1. We had a huge snow fall this week here in Chicagoland and as a teacher, I had every finger, toe, and other extremity crossed hoping for a day off... no dice! Despite the fact that my 25 min drive took almost an hour (due to horrible road conditions) and our district had several minor bus accidents (due to ice), no day off for me! Now, if your not a teacher, you are already thinking that I get plenty of days off and why do I need another one for goodness sake? WELL, I DO! It's not like I can just take a day off whenever I please. In your job, if your not there, the work just waits for you until you get back, or someone else does it and it doesn't matter. Thats not how it works for teachers. If I take a day off, I have to plan ahead all the work I would have done that day and leave copious notes so someone who isn't a teacher can attemp to do all the things I have been trained to do. And THEN- I have to re-do parts of it when I return to make sure it was done right so I can successfully go on to the next hundred things I have to do. UGH- Why didn't I become a banker or some kind of corporate person? I need to win the lottery or something and take a year off.
Which leads me to:
2. I just got to spend the most amazing two weeks with my daughter. I forget sometimes how much happens in the 8-9 hours I'm at work everyday! Now that we are all back in our work/daycare routine, I miss her horribly all day long. I pains me to hear all the wonderful things she did each day because, while I'm happy she did them and that she had a happy day, I missed it.
3. Yesterday, I missed the first time she played in snow! I can't really blame the babysitter, all the kids were outside playing in it, she couldn't make my daughter stay inside just because I wasn't there to photograph or video tape this big event. I'm really sad. I hope the rain holds off long enough to atleast get a second snow experience on tape this Sat.
4. Why do they make white gloves for children? I purchased this adorable little rose colored jacket for Bri (my daughter) and with it's light pink roses, it just seemed to need this cute little winter white gloves. I know rookie mistake right... any experienced moms could have told me this was a bad idea, but I didn't know! But why do they make gloves that after 10 min in the snow look like the've been run over by 10 dirty semi-trucks? This weekend I'm going to find a snowsuit that will go with black gloves! Or maybe I should just finish off the white ones and dye them.... hmmmm
ENOUGH! I'm going to spend my spare time today teaching myself how to add pictures and links to this site. It's time for me to get my butt into gear and be a more active part of the blogging community.
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Happy New Year!
Perhaps it is a little later than normally accepted, but Happy New Year to you all. I hope your holidays were as wonderful as you wanted them to be.
I am back at work after a restful, but never long enough, break from school. We had a wonderful Christmas with my family, I had a lovely relaxing, but fun, birthday, and our New Years was uneventful.... just the way we like it.
Our biggest accomplishment over the last week or so was completely re-organizing one of our rooms so that we could have a play room. It became painfully clear to us as we were driving home from Christmas with my family, unable to see out the windows of the SUV thanks to piles of presents and toys, that we need more storage.
People had always warned me that as babies grow into toddlers, the toys get bigger along with the child... I now completely believe them! We were already quite tired of the entire family room being taken over by toys of all sizes, and that was before Christmas! We are now petrified... and quite convinced that toys reproduce themselves when the owners are sleeping. There is something about blocks and LEGOS and "pop-onz" that I have now discovered, no scientist will ever be able to prove it, but toys really can reproduce. I am quite sure that in a very "Nutcracker" type way, that they come alive at night and have merry little dances and such.
Regardless, Thank you to all of our loving family for your generosity. Brianna can now fully compete for the "Most Spolied Toddler in the World" award. She may not understand how lucky she is (at least not for longer than her 90 second attention span!) but her parents truely do and we love you all for loving us that much.
I am back at work after a restful, but never long enough, break from school. We had a wonderful Christmas with my family, I had a lovely relaxing, but fun, birthday, and our New Years was uneventful.... just the way we like it.
Our biggest accomplishment over the last week or so was completely re-organizing one of our rooms so that we could have a play room. It became painfully clear to us as we were driving home from Christmas with my family, unable to see out the windows of the SUV thanks to piles of presents and toys, that we need more storage.
People had always warned me that as babies grow into toddlers, the toys get bigger along with the child... I now completely believe them! We were already quite tired of the entire family room being taken over by toys of all sizes, and that was before Christmas! We are now petrified... and quite convinced that toys reproduce themselves when the owners are sleeping. There is something about blocks and LEGOS and "pop-onz" that I have now discovered, no scientist will ever be able to prove it, but toys really can reproduce. I am quite sure that in a very "Nutcracker" type way, that they come alive at night and have merry little dances and such.
Regardless, Thank you to all of our loving family for your generosity. Brianna can now fully compete for the "Most Spolied Toddler in the World" award. She may not understand how lucky she is (at least not for longer than her 90 second attention span!) but her parents truely do and we love you all for loving us that much.
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