Wednesday, September 30, 2009

An open letter to the man who stole my husbands wallet

Dear Sir,

You SUCK! I can't believe that of all the locked lockers at the health club, you chose my husbands to break into! What were you thinking???? Clearly, you weren't thinking. I mean, who takes a hammer to a gym locker, pulling the door off, in the middle of the day? Did you think this was a smart idea? Why that locker? Why my husband?

What you don't know is that we will get you! Well, the police will, if they haven't already. The club employee who was using the bathroom peeked around the corner and saw you. He recognized you, and gave the police your name. The police know where you live. We are looking forward to seeing you in court! Obviously you are not a bright man.

I suppose I should thank you for not taking his clothes or car keys. Especially the car keys. However, if you had taken the car keys, you might have gotten away with more. Because you left the keys, the club was able to find my husband in the club and alert him immediately to your stupidity. He then was able to alert the police and get things rolling quickly. After calling the police, he called me. I was able to cancel or freeze every credit/debit card before you could do any damage! HA! I hope you enjoyed the $45 cash. I hope jail/prison is worth it for $45!! The club is pressing charges for the damage and the police say the combination of offenses is a felony! HA!!! HA, HA, HA!

Next time watch Law and Order first! You could learn something! Or get the psychiatric help you need. We won't miss you.


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