I just don't know what to call this insane ramble.

I am a teacher.

My husband is a teacher.

For better or worse, this means we are both home all summer with our kids. If you are not a teacher, or a parent, perhaps it is easy to see all the pluses of this arrangement. Believe me, it also has it's down sides.

Despite the fact that there is always 75 million things to do, we have a little arrangement so we each get some alone time. In the afternoons, both of the kids take naps... naps which overlap by about an hour or hour and a half on a good day. This is alone time. I spend mine reading or watching tv movies I recorded that he wouldn't watch if the world collapsed and it was all that was available. He works outside, or goes to the driving range or something. I don't even care most days if he's gone longer than the "nap window" as long as I get my time.

Today I did not get my time. Brianna, is suddenly not napping. (Is this a magical thing that as soon as they hit birthday #3 naps disappear like Houdini?) We still make her "rest" in her room though. Sometimes she ends up falling asleep, most often she reads to her baby doll or looks at picture books. Today my darling daughter spent the better part of an hour and a half, alternately screaming to come downstairs and trashing her room. I almost didn't mind the trashing her room because at least it was quiet. I tried to read downstairs but just couldn't concentrate or relax because I was listening to the upstairs and trying to make sure nothing or no one was being permanently harmed.

I finally went upstairs to get her to find that;
1. She had pulled every single wipe out of her diaper wipes and piled them on her bed.
2. She had emptied several of her drawers and pulled out the sticky drawer liner which she crumpled up.
3. She had found a couple of those "Do Not Eat" packets that come with shoes and opened them, spewing little white/clear crystals all over the carpet in her room.
4. She had jumped on her bed, presumably before covering it with wet wipes, and the sheet had pulled off the corners.
5. She was naked except for a diaper... a different diaper than she had on when we put her in her room.

I silently stormed around her room cleaning up the mess while she sort of cowered on her bed asking me what was wrong. I then quietly explained why what she had done was wrong and that I was not happy with her behavior. I then silently got her dressed to take outside to my husband so he could be tortured by her.

HE WAS NOT OUTSIDE. His car was there, He was gone. I still don't know where. I literally sat in the front window watching for him for the next 20 minutes. When he walked into view, I took her outside and told her to walk to daddy. I pointed to him, I pointed to her, and I walked back inside without saying a word. As I walked away he yelled after me, "What?" I didn't dignify that with an answer.

I walked back inside to try and salvage a few minutes of peace and quiet. I had barely sat down to try and decompress, and figure out why I just wasn't handling this well today, when Grant woke up. At that point, I sat on the couch and cried for a few minutes before I got up the energy to go get him. As I type, he is sitting in my lap trying desperately to get the keyboard.

I figured out the following:
1. I need more sleep now that Grant has stopped sleeping through the night.
2. Working summer school sucks.
3. Feeling deserted by my husband sucks.
4. Kids who don't nap.... should nap.

I think maybe tonight I will go see a movie by myself, Or just go to Denny's and drink free refills and read until I feel revived.