Still Crazy after all this year

I can't believe it's been almost a year since I posted anything.  I really can't!

Sometimes I think my life is on auto pilot...
Get up, run around like crazy.
Go to work, try to fit too much in and go crazy.
Come home, fight with kids about homework, sports, food, and say crazy things.
Sleep.

Everyday the same.  I love my kids, I love my life.... sometimes I just want different.  And then I feel guilty for wanting it.
What if I'd tried being a stay-at-home mom?
What if we'd never had Chase and had to go through more years of diapers and staying home for naps, Would my older kids be more adventurous or have better experiences?
Would I be happier if I could just shut off the "get involved" instinct at work?


I'm going to try and update more again.  I have things I need to get out, and maybe no one will read them.  I'm ok with that.  Maybe I'd even prefer that... but I need to have a voice again.

Just for me!

I am not just a mom!  I am not just a teacher!  Sometimes I forget to post about the real me!

I love fashion; or at least love watching it!  I can't always wear, or afford, what I love but I still stalk it on the internet.  

Around the time of Kate and William's wedding, I found this website...  What Kate Wore
I LOVE it!  They run-down all her outfits and tell us where we can find the pieces.  I still don't fit into them but maybe one of you can.  What I can wear are the shoes!  So when I found they were giving away a pair of the London Sole flats that Kate wears, it was too good to be true!

You can enter to win too!  If you follow my link here, comment with my name so we both get more entries!  Good Luck to you, but more luck to me! :-)

An open letter to the parents of the world...

Dear Parents of school age children.

If you disagree with your child's teacher, please attempt to do so civilly.
If you MUST get forceful, do so with the full understanding that you may be harming your child.

A good teacher will not dislike your child. They will give the child several chances.   However you, the parent, will never get a second chance to be liked. The teacher will never willingly call you again and therefore you will not receive the notice you'd really like about your child.  Heaven forbid you get a teacher who is not so good...  a teacher who's already iffy... you've just put your kid on the permanent hit list.

Thank you!
Educators everywhere

**I origionally wrote this months ago and stuck it in "Drafts" so I could cool down.  It is no less true now than it was 6 months ago!

** See also this article which I didn't write but I completely agree with!

I need to DO something

A while ago, I posted about all the people in my life who seem to be having such a hard time of it... one of those was a co-worker who's son turned 1 in May.  That precious little child has been fighting leukemia since about 6 months old.  They thought they had turned the corner... they had their little fighter home again and his counts were going the right direction....

This week they found out the leukemia is back.  Most devastatingly, they are out of options.  This adorable child has been given only months of life.

I know it is not my child, but it just as easily could have been.  What happened to these young parents was a fluke, one of life twists that you can never anticipate.  I have been crying on and off all day.  Then I cry because if it makes me this sad, I can't imagine the crippling grief of the family.

I keep hugging my kids, they are starting to think I'm nuts!  I can't tell them, they don't have any idea about this family or that little kids can die too young.  I don't want them to know.

I don't know what else to do.  So far I've spread the word, asked strangers for their prayers, and eaten too much chocolate.  I know there must be a better solution... I hope I think of it soon.  I'm running out of chocolate!

Random

I am so awful about updating my blog these days. When I'm working (during the school year) I can't post because Blogger is blocked. When I'm at home, I'm dealing with the 3 children (and one large child aka husband) or I am sucked in to the Facebook vortex!

Notes:

July went wonderfully despite the broken arm. The visit from the cousins was great and we did so much fun stuff. It seems that the addition of 2 additional children forced us off our butts and out into the world where we did things we never would have done to entertain our 3.

Brianna is growing so fast. Not literally, she's 8 and can still wear a 6/6x when need be. But in other ways, some days I see the teenager she'll be and I am equally terrified and over joyed with her wonderful little mind. She's still the kid that scares me the most. She has all these fears and minor ticks and double the stubbornness than any one person should be allowed to have.

Grant is starting Kindergarten in less than a month and loves to learn so much. He tries to read all the signs and things at stores, and gets them right sometimes! He is always asking us to give him math problems to do, and they are nothing amazing, but the kid can add and subtract all the single digits and some of the double digits.... in his mind! He loves to eat cereal, would eat it every meal if I let him. He like to mix 2 cereals together since he can't decide between them. He is also a little mean. He hits/kicks Brianna daily (never Chase) but his teachers say he doesn't do it at school so I try not to be too concerned.

Chase is my troublemaker. I know, I know, he's almost 2 and his testing his limits. I get that... but the kid does exactly what we tell him not to do ALL of the time. And reverse psychology doesn't work on him. If we tell him NOT to do what we actually WANT him to do, he still knows what we mean and does the wrong thing anyway. He learns everything from Brianna and Grant and is so smart in that way. He is talking up a storm and wants to do everything physical that we let him. My baby is no longer a baby.

The hubs and I are fine. Hubs is so excited for the new school year. I love that after 12 years of teaching, he can still be so excited about his job. It's really his calling. I wish I felt the same. I still like teaching, like Social Studies, like the students. I just can't seem to find the same excitement that used to make things like getting my classroom and starting the year so much fun. I'm going to keep trying to get involved in as many other things as I can. The challenge of adding new responsibilities is what what keeps me feeling... challenged. I do like a good challenge.

August will no doubt fly by and before I know it, or maybe before I post again, school will have started, Chase will be 2, and another summer will have gone before I could truly appreciate it.

Sigh.