And it got me thinking...

Jamie's comment on my last post made me think...

How did I feel about having two kids who were more independent and vocal? Why did I want another little one who couldn't talk or help themselves in anyway?

And I realized- I don't mind that they are helpless- I kind of like it. I like being the provider of all things good; food, dry diapers, cozy clothes, comfort, love.

I have no delusions- I'm sure I was frustrated from time to time when my kids were babies. Like the nights that Brianna would cry unless we bounced her; she especially liked going up and down the stairs around 2 am! Like the month I returned to work and Grant absolutely, flat out, refused any style of bottle we could find.

BUT- I never held it against them, they were babies, that is what they were supposed to do. Actually, now I think I hold things against them more, and get more frustrated. When Brianna waits until the last possible minute to tell me she has to go potty and we are running through the Target or Jewel. Or when Grant chooses to get angry and throw or hit rather than using his words, words I know he darn well has by now.

I am some sort of crazy person- I prefer the helpless little baby. At least I know what to expect!

Bittersweet

Today I mailed the invitations to Grant's 3rd birthday party! I can't believe that my "baby" is going to be 3 years old soon. I still look at pictures of him as a baby and I can remember exactly how he liked to be held. I can remember all the nights I slept with him on my stomach because it was the only way we could both be asleep at the same time.

It's been no secret that I'd like a 3rd baby. However, as Grant gets older, and the possibility of a 3rd baby seems less likely, I feel more nostalgic. I know that children get older, and I love the kids more everyday, but I L.O.V.E. babies! I love holding them and cuddling and how they snuggle up and fall asleep. 3 and 5 year olds don't do that...

I have a proposal...

When children have birthday's, where is the present for the mommy?!?

Who carried the child and nourished it for 9 months? Who gave birth to the screaming watermelon? Who nursed and stayed up more nights? Who's the first one the day care teachers call to pick up the puke-monster?

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't give up a minute of any of that... but give a girl some love!

Every child's birthday is also a Momday! It is the day we changed our lives to be a Mom, and we love you, but it's our special day too!

Help?

Oh Loyal readers who are few and far between...

How do I track my "business" on a blog?
How would I know if I am getting hits, etc, if people don't comment?

If you know me- e-mail me please!

www.yearbookyourself.com

This is totally what I WANTED to look like in 1990....

But I would have loved 1966 too....


Thanks to Jenny at Bloggess and Good Mom/Bad Mom for the link!
I've successfully wasted quite a bit of work time today thanks to you! :-)
LOVE IT!

Seriously rambling

I just noticed that in changing my background and updating my system with blogger... I've lost some of the things I liked about my blog. I lost my links to other blogs I read. I've lost my list of categories that my posts fall under. I lost my "about me" section.

I suppose I'll get around to fixing it... someday!
Until then- whatever is my new mantra.

I have increasingly noticed over the years that unless faced with a immediate need, I don't want to or can't make a decision. ESPECIALLY at home. As a teacher and team leader at school I make thousands of decisions on a daily basis. What to have for dinner or what errands to run just seems to difficult come evening time.

Is there some amateur psychologist who'd like to tell me why in more detail?

I don't like Ike

I just wanted to send a heartfelt hug and my prayers to all those in the path of Hurricane Ike. It's going to be nasty and I hope you are safely away from the danger zones.

Especially to my friends at Mama Drama and Good Mom/Bad Mom.
Stay safe with your babies of all ages!

I really have nothing to say

I am trying really hard to post more often. And today I have a little extra time but I'm not sure what to say...

Brianna is loving Kindergarten. Everyday she comes home with a folder full of little work and she talks about all the friends (but she doesn't know their names yet). It's great! Best side affect for our family- she sleeps GREAT! Between getting up early and go-go-going all day long, by bedtime, poor little dear is wiped out! Soon it will be dark outside earlier and we may even make her bedtime sooner.

Grant is a great kid too! He talks ALL THE FREAKING TIME! Even his "teachers" at daycare say that he just talks to them constantly. It can be really cute sometimes... SOMEtimes. He fell into a table the other day and really hurt his head. Like- we Googled the signs of a concussion- bad. He seemed fine pretty quickly but it was 2 days before he even let me move his hair around to see the spot on his head. However, he loved the children's Tylenol and now asks for it when he's hungry. Good thing mommy knows better! Silly boy!

Adam and I are just as crazy as always. Work is finally settling into routine after all the start of school nonsense. I still feel scattered about half the time but I'm not sure that will ever go away. We signed the kids up for Gymnastics this fall and that starts tonight so...

That's all I can think of right now. What do you want to see/hear?
I am working on a photo fashion show of all Brianna's new school clothes! Still a few more outfits to wear...

Huh?

So- I don't think I have yet commented on politics on this blog. I am perhaps the least political social studies teacher EVER. I care about politics and who represents me however, I am just a bit too practical about the exact size and scope of my single vote. I vote... I don't obsess over it.

I watched most of Sarah Palin's speech last night. Jamie had some reviews of it that I sort of agree with. But mostly, I just kept thinking of the same thing. I would want to be friends with her but I don't want her a breath away from control of the nation. She seems like fun and I admire her resolve and family confidence. I would love to have a conversation with her and share mom stories and hear more about her kids and life and argue with her about our ideals. I don't want her telling the world who can, or mostly can't get an abortion. I don't want her influencing the education world in which I work and in which my children are learning. Just because she seemed fun... it's not a reason to put her in control of anything!

Ahhh, the quiet!

I have just successfully dropped the 2 amazingly wonderful children with Grandma and Grandpa for the night. Adam is at his fantasy football draft. We have wonderful dinner plans later but for now the house is silent and I have a massage scheduled in 45 minutes.

Honestly it's a little too quiet. I love it but... I had to turn the radio up REALLY loud on the way home to fill the silence.

A couple day's from now I won't believe I even just said that!

This touched me today

Back in September of 2005, on the first day of school, Martha Cothren, a social studies school teacher at Robinson High School in Little Rock, did something not to be forgotten.

On the first day of school, with the permission of the school superintendent, the principal and the building supervisor, she removed all of the desks out of her classroom.

When the first period kids entered the room they discovered that there were no desks.

'Ms. Cothren, where are our desks?'

She replied, 'You can't have a desk until you tell me what you have done to earn the right to sit at a desk.'

They thought, 'Well, maybe it's our grades.'

'No', she said

'Maybe it's our behavior.'

She told them, 'No, it's not even your behavior.'

And so, they came and went, the first period, second period, third period. Still no desks in the classroom.

By early afternoon television news crews had started gathering in Ms.Cothren's classroom to report about this crazy teacher who had taken all the desks out of her room.

The final period of the day came and as the puzzled students found seats on the floor of the deskless classroom, Martha Cothren said, 'Throughout the day no one has been able to tell me just what he/she has done to earn the right to sit at the desks that are ordinarily found in this classroom. Now I am going to tell you.'

At this point, Martha Cothren went over to the door of her classroom and opened it.

Twenty-seven (27) U.S. Veterans, all in uniforms, walked into that classroom, each one carrying a school desk. The Vets began placing the school desks in rows, and then they would walk over and stand alongside the wall.

By the time the last soldier had set the final desk in place those kids started to understand, perhaps for the first time in their lives, just how the right to sit at those desks had been earned.

Martha said, 'You didn't earn the right to sit at these desks. These heroes did it for you. They placed the desks here for you. Now, it's up to you to sit in them. It is your responsibility to learn, to be good students, to be good citizens. They paid the price so that you could have the freedom to get an education. Don't ever forget that.'

By the way, this is a true story.


Please consider passing this along so others won't forget that the freedoms we have in this great country were earned by U S. Veterans.

I doth overreact a little...

Yesterday I received a phone call from the daycare center that another student had scratched Grant's neck during circle time. They applied ice and gave hugs and it was all good.

When I went to pick him up, I had to sign a copy of the "incident report".
I read it... the written version sounds like Grant was the one scratching others, not the victim.
Except...
I CAN SEE THE SCRATCH MARKS ON HIS NECK!

SO- I don't sign it. I ask that the teacher who witnessed the event rewrite it properly. She looks at me funny and agrees. WE SHALL SEE LATER TODAY....

They probably throw out the little form later but DUDE- Grant is the victim here... VICTIM!

So Cute!

This morning, rather than let the kids come in our room to watch cartoons, Brianna went in Grant's room to play. I wandered that way a little later to see what was up.

Brianna was sitting on the ottoman of the chair, Grant was in the chair, and she was telling him a story. He looked mesmerized so I hid around the corner to listen.

She was telling him a story about her dream from the night. She described a pink castle floating a blue sky riding on a cloud that was shaped like a fluffy white bunny. She said that her cousin Hannah lived there and she was just visiting for a party. She described her dress, Hannah's dress, the party food, and all the games.

Either she has a GREAT imagination or GREAT dreams!
WOW!

Thanks Brianna!

So, for Christmas last year, Brianna got a digital camera designed for kids. Today, I got around to downloading the pictures....

Here's a blurry one of Aunt Jamie showing off something....

Here's a decent one of Grant, just a LITTLE off center....

There were a LOT that looked like this....

"Baby Carole" showed up quite a few times....

As did lots of AWFUL pictures of mommy...

Just because...

It's been awhile.

I have been working 2 days a week on a new program for our school... Educators out there... PBIS? I'm a little stressed about work, but not really because of the new school year. I am NOT excited to start again, and that stresses me out. I know that boredom is a common problem in teaching... this is my 8th year doing EXACTLY the same thing. I am going to have to spice this up somehow!

Grant is doing pretty good in his new bed. We do have to check on him more because he has a tendancy to get out to play... then fall asleep somewhere else. Once we found him basically standing, but leaning on an ottoman for his rocker! If we don't catch his strange places, we get VERY short naps!




Brianna is getting excited about Kindergarten but is still cautious. We found out her teacher's name and next weekend we will get to go see the classroom. We meet the teacher for an "interview" on the 28th and she starts class on Sept. 3. I just know the time will FLY!



Adam ran his second triathalon this morning and everything went very well. We will have to wait to see if he beat his brother again but I'm just glad that he's happy with his performance. He's decided to keep training through the off season and try and do a longer triathalon next year. I am so proud of him! From couch potato to triathalete in 8 months!

I'm sure it will be a while again now... school next week.
And lets face it... I'm not good about updating anyway!
:-D

Monumental Day

Tonight, my baby is sleeping in his big-boy bed for the first time! (Hopefully pictures soon)

And my crib, which has cradled my 2 children for the last 5 years is in many pieces in the hall. Where it will end up is still a battle....

I vote for the basement.
Adam votes for the curb.

It's looking more and more like he's going to win the big argument.
And I'm going to be really sad for a while.

Assvice central!

Also known as... how to give advice about something you (thankfully) know nothing about!

Saturday, after enjoying a lovely evening with my mom, dad, and sister, I received a frantic phone call from a friend. She wasn't even making sense at first. She babbled about not knowing who to talk to and she thought of me and she couldn't tell her mom...

I finally got her to just tell me!

That evening she'd found out her husband of almost 5 years had been cheating on her. She found some inappropriate text messages and photos on his phone. Turns out he'd been fooling around in some form or another (including everything) with a co-worker for almost 6 months.

She kicked him out of course, and is desperate to figure out what to do. They have 2 little girls (2 and 9 mo). He of course had to give a lame-ass reason... their sex life at home just wasn't hot anymore, it was like a job.

HELLO. TOGETHER 12 YEARS. MARRIED 5. 2 KIDS. JOBS. WORK. LIFE. DUH!

So anyway...
What do I say to that? I found myself saying stupid things like;
"Take it one day at a time."
"Write down what your feeling to get it off your chest."
"Try and sleep, you need to stay healthy."

Well, really, I just listen a lot but...What the heck should I say?
Can anyone help me here?

And to think, last week I was going to complain about my husband. Thank God for my boring little issues!

plans change

I was going to post tonight about feeling sad, and having no one to talk to, but then I was skimming my "usual blogs" and following some links and I found this.

I never read this blog on a regular basis before tonight, but now I've read some of the archives, and cried a lot.

I still feel sad, and maybe sometime I'll feel like talking about it.
But I also feel SO DAMN LUCKY to have my children and my husband and my health.
So life's not perfect... I'll get over it.

Best Laid Plans...

Yeah.... so I said I was going to post more often this summer since I am home and have a much faster Internet connection... clearly, that was a pipe dream!

Updates since the last post:

1. Cleaned house like a mad fool for a week to prepare for Brianna's 5th Birthday party.
2. Successfully coordinated 2 birthday parties for Brianna. One for kids at a local bouncy place and one for family and close friends at our home. ALL IN THE SAME AFTERNOON!
3. Took a whopping 1 day off.
4. Attended major birthday party for cute niece who is actually one day older than Brianna.
5. Cleaned house some more... did some working out... threw surprise birthday party for mother-in-law (with help from all her kids, I just hosted), and had not one but 2 "girls nights" in the same week.
6. Took hideous wall paper down from Grant's room... which people... seriously, there should be a law! If you put up hideous wall paper, you must remove said paper PRIOR to new ownership! We spent large portions of 4 days on this and we still have to repair, prime, and paint!
7. Decided not to go for new job as assistant principal. The timing and situation just don't seem right. I'm taking it as a sign...
8. Prepared for big vacation of the summer!

When all is said and done, June FLEW BY! I can absolutely NOT believe that it is July. We leave on the big vac-a tomorrow. First time the kids will see Disney World, I am very excited, they think they are excited but really just don't know what to expect.

Maybe I'll get around to an update when we get back... Ya'll are used to waiting for me, right?
:-)

There has been a request from the peanut gallery...

to hear details about this little job interview (?) which I threw into my last post.

We found out on Wednesday that one of our assistant principals in our building is leaving for a principal job elsewhere. While I would very much like to move to administration, I had settled myself for another year of teaching and taken on some projects I would like to finish... maybe...

I don't know for sure if I will be pursuing the job but I might... or not... or I might....

My gut feeling is they will want someone from outside the district for this job. Besides the fact that this is the AP in charge of my husbands team so if I were seriously being considered, it would force some systematic changes at the school.

Or maybe I'm just rationalizing because I am scared. It would definitely be easier to stay with what I know and not rock the boat right now.

Or maybe rocking the boat is exactly what I need. When I didn't get that silly voted-on thing last week, a close friend told me it was because something better was in store for me. Is this it?

Lets just say I've started the application... but who knows....