There has been a request from the peanut gallery...

to hear details about this little job interview (?) which I threw into my last post.

We found out on Wednesday that one of our assistant principals in our building is leaving for a principal job elsewhere. While I would very much like to move to administration, I had settled myself for another year of teaching and taken on some projects I would like to finish... maybe...

I don't know for sure if I will be pursuing the job but I might... or not... or I might....

My gut feeling is they will want someone from outside the district for this job. Besides the fact that this is the AP in charge of my husbands team so if I were seriously being considered, it would force some systematic changes at the school.

Or maybe I'm just rationalizing because I am scared. It would definitely be easier to stay with what I know and not rock the boat right now.

Or maybe rocking the boat is exactly what I need. When I didn't get that silly voted-on thing last week, a close friend told me it was because something better was in store for me. Is this it?

Lets just say I've started the application... but who knows....

FINALLY!!

School is out!

The students went home.
The classroom is all packed up.
The grades are final.
The files are backed-up.
I e-mailed myself all my favorite links from work.

Nothing ahead of me for 8 weeks but sun and summer.
Well, Except:

Unpacking
Working on committee work (14 half days, paid)
Painting
2 small needy children
A job interview?!?

I can't wait!!!

once again, just a nerd

So, last week some time I think I mentioned that I was running in an election at work for a new position. Maybe? I don't remember now and am too lazy to go back and check.

ANYWAY- I really wanted this new position because I already do a lot of the work, and I really care about the job, and it's more money. (It's one of those things I'd do on TOP of what I already do, not a new job). Unfortunately, our higher-ups felt that the staff should choose the person...

SO- an election! In which I had to submit lots of information about myself, in which I actually gave a "brief biography" when asked for it! My competitor, gave her whole stinkin' resume, so needless appeared more qualified than me! I didn't get it.

I feel like the prom queen runner up... just not quite good enough.

As a teacher...

And as a human being who cares about the world around us...

I find this to be amazing, and distressing!
What must they have thought? Just by simple picture taking, how much did we disorder their lives?

WOW!

Parenting Dilema

In the course of parenting, there are dilemma's to deal with and decisions to be made everyday. It can be tough but it is important to make the right decision for the future of the children.

Grant loves Dinosaurs.
He pronounces them DinoROARs.

I love it! I think it's cute and funny and it makes me giggle.
I call them DinoROARs too!

Will he be scarred for life? Will he be a teenager and still calling them DinoROARs? Like the friend of a friend who called butterflies "flutterby's" until she was 18!?!

Do I really care? ... Nah, too cute to care!

I hope my mom doesn't read this

No... it's not about THAT!

Can someone tell me when your biological clock STOPS ticking?
I was just sitting here in my (empty) classroom crying over how cute a friends new baby is... and wishing SO hard that I could have another beautiful baby.

I have 2 beautiful, wonderful (if rambunctious) children. God has blessed me more than I deserve. And I can list 20 very practical reasons why I probably shouldn't have a 3rd baby.
(Whining) BUT I WANT ONE!

This week it was announced that the Duggars are having #18. That's right, 18!!
I only want 3.

I'm willing to make some sacrifices. I'm willing to puke for 12 straight weeks and have back pain and be up all night for the next 6 months and eat nothing but pasta for a year. Whatever it takes to feel butterfly kicks and watch first smiles and hear first words again.

Adam is having none of it. And I can't fully say I blame him. 2 kids is a lot of work! It takes both of us to deal if they both decide to be horrible at the same time. But as Brianna grows, that is happening less and less. She is as reasonable and logical as any 5 year old I've ever seen. 90% of the time, she "gets it". And as Grant grows, he becomes more reasonable, for a 2 year old. I keep trying to convince Adam that by the time we have the baby, Grant will be 3 1/2! That is a huge change from now at 2 1/2! It won't be like this forever!

GOD, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Which is this?!?

When the obvious hits me over the head!

Today at work, I am applying for an additional leadership position for next school year. It is a position which is voted on by the school; someone to be like a lead-teacher in certain areas. While I have no doubt that I am qualified, I need my application to make that clear to the rest of the staff.

One of the questions asks me to select an "Area of Growth" for next year... ie... what is my weakness, or at what do I suck!? They give us the following list to choose from:

Group facilitation
Long range planning
oral communication
written communication
compromise
recognizing alternatives
decision-making
taking initiative
preparing an agenda
Attention to detail
task prioritization and delegation
sharing ideas in a positive manner
showing genuine interest in individuals
fostering organizational change
working toward consensus

I had to e-mail some coworkers who know me well to see what they think my weakness is.
AND THEN IT OCCURRED TO ME... If I can't even decide on my own weakness, then decision making must be the one to pick!

DUH!

This morning I took pictures...

Just because Brianna looked cute and Grant was mostly smiley... and it had been awhile!


He is asking for "Uppy!"

And the other 6 dwarfs hid under the beds!

I am GRUMPY.

It's a "up on the wrong side of the bed" and "don't even look at me like that" kind of a day.
I don't know why... The morning was crazy but no more so than usual.
The kids were sleepy and cranky but not much more than normal.
My co-worker is annoying but it's the same way she always is.

I just need a break.
I need Adam to go somewhere by himself and leave me alone for a few hours, or a day.
I need NOT to be reminded that there are 9000 boxes still to unpack.
I need to find a new babysitter.
I need a quiet day at work where I can surf the Internet and ignore my paperwork in peace.
I want a new purse. (I don't know how that will really help, and it might make Adam kill me, but I just know it's the answer to some of my stress!)
I want to finish my book without dirty looks from my husband or screaming children.
I want a massage! for a week!

If you see me coming today people, you'd better be able to provide something from the second list... or just run the hell away!

15 excuses for why I don't blog

1. Packing up old house
2. Cleaning new house
3. Crying about old house
4. Saying good bye to WORLDS BEST neighbors
5. Unpacking at new house
6. Helping 2 kid under 5 understand "new house" vs. "old house"
7. Drying tears of said kids
8. Crying some more
9. Taking multiple days off school to prepare for and move
10. Cleaning old house
11. I do sometimes work at work
12. Making 90 bazillion phone calls to cancel old services and set up new services
13. Sleeping a whopping 4 hours per night
14. New committee/team at work which needs lots of attention
15. Stressing about combining numbers 1-14

And 5 reasons why I hope to get better about it...
1. New house has upgraded Internet! (Dial-up house is dust!)
2. New house computer is right off family room so I don't have to isolate myself to use it.
3. Got new camera with phone for mommy's day so will have pictures to post!
4. Summer is coming and work is slowing down.
5. I miss my blog buddies!!!!!

During the silence...

Yes, I am well aware that long silences are more the norm for me and you probably weren't wondering what was going on but anyway...

Here is what has happened since the last post.

-Student didn't just leave for month, she left until August! More work, less accountability for me.
- Went to wonderful workshop with group that has now become implementation team for new initiative. Fun and challenging! I love it.
- Settled repairs on new house.
- CLOSED ON NEW HOUSE!!!!! WAHOOO!!!!!
- Assessed empty new house and noticed all the flaws we didn't see before. Started having flashbacks of the movie "Money Pit" but am trying not to stress.
- Took today off work to wait around new house for locksmith and carpet cleaners.
- Thanked God for neighbors unsecured wireless connection which I am borrowing.

Happy Friday Everyone!

S.T.R.E.S.S

I read somewhere recently that moving is the 2nd most stressful thing an adult can go through, second only to divorce.

STRESS.....

I have SO much to do this week before we close next week and my over-involved self volunteered for a workshop on Thursday and Friday so I will be totally out of touch for most of those 2 days and then I found out today that one of my students is leaving for Europe this weekend and will be gone A MONTH visiting a dying family member and I have to give her enough work to do to keep caught up for A MONTH and did I mention I won't be able to do anything productive on Thursday or Friday?!?

Rejuvinated... sort of.

Wednesday I decided that I think I felt a little spring fever coming on and that I (cough, cough) would need to take Thursday off to "recover". IE- I called in sick to work on Thursday so I could enjoy one entirely wonderful day to myself!

Now... I think I cursed myself...

I mean, my day was lovely. I got some much needed things done for the move, and I read for 3 consecutive hours without interruption or screaming in the background, I took myself to breakfast at Panera and played on the computer, thank you free wi-fi!

However, now I am sick. I mean actually might go to the doctor later sick. My left sinus feels like a rock and now my ears ache and I generally feel like I'm moving underwater. To top that... I am dizzy on and off if I try and look down and read. I look a little strange reading/grading papers with the paper held directly out from my face!

Oh Well, It was worth it!

Lessons from Elementary School

Boy and Girl, Sittin' in a tree.
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
First comes love,
Then comes MARRIAGE,
THEN comes a baby in the baby carriage!

Someone, and someone else, and someone else, and someone else forgot to listen though!

Engaged, not engaged, Tomato, Tom(ah)to....It's just too much!
Am I officially old now?

But I might need it!

Adam wants me to start packing. Actually, he would even do the packing if I just tell him what to box up. (He's a GREAT guy!)

FYI- we can start moving things into the new house in just under 3 weeks. We have to be completely out of our current house in about 5 weeks.

I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO PACK! What can I live with out for 5 whole weeks (more like 8-10 by the time I actually unpack it again)? We packed up a bunch of mommy's kitchen toys... We packed up some kids toys (6 days ago and no one noticed yet... sad huh?). I could probably pack up linens or something.

I'm just convinced that whatever I pack, I will need it the next day. Yes- I know I haven't used in in months or years, but tomorrow I WILL! but only if I pack it today.

a link kind of day

Creepy!

I am sad

I admit, I have my own religious struggles but I can never, will never, understand faith that does not advocate for itself. God would not want this.

I need to go hug my kids!

quiet, lazy, day

One of the luxuries of teaching middle school, is that when directed properly, the children can work for extended periods of time on their own. IE- I can plan activities that are both educational and allow me to have a whole day "to myself".

The problem with this plan is when I plan a day like this... say for instance, TODAY... I very seldom actually use my time wisely. I get the kids started each class period, and then sit down to do my mountain of paperwork and grading, and then the strangest thing happens.

The Internet CALLS MY NAME! Literally, I can hear my computer calling out to me...
Come check your e-mail....
Search for furniture...
Check out summer vacations...
Send stupid chain e-mails...

So here it is 10:30... I've been at work for over 3 hours... and have gotten no work done.
Oh Well.

The battle is won, the war continues

I would like to document, for prosperity and the good of my brain, the events of the evening of Tuesday, April 1. And while this is a long frickin' story, it is no joke people!

The family was having "catch-as-catch-can" for dinner. AKA- when your hungry, eat what you want. At approximately 6:15 pm, Brianna decided it was time to pick her dinner. This is no easy feat when mommy won't let you have plain noodles (because it takes to long to cook). So Brianna stands in the door to the pantry. And she swings the pantry door. And she hangs on the pantry door. And she bangs the door into the refrigerator. And she accidentally bangs the door in to Grant. And she hangs on the door some more. All while muttering "hmmmm".

Mommy is getting annoyed so I calmly got down on one knee, held Brianna's shoulders gently to get her attention, and said "Please stop playing with the door".

Brianna says "OK Mommy."

Within 3 seconds flat, she is playing with the door. Now, rationally, I know she isn't doing it on purpose, she probably doesn't even realize. However, she knows better and I am getting really annoyed now.

I again took her by the shoulders and asked her to repeat after me. "I won't play with the door". She silently refused.

I tried to explain that mommy has already asked her once and she knew better. Silent refusal with some wiggling.

I explained that if she says the words I will know she heard me. I explain that I need her to be a "good listener" and say the words. Enter lots of wiggling and angry face. She says angrily, "I'll say it if you let go of me". I let go, she runs away silently.

Perhaps I will summarize a little here... I am pissed! I take her shoulders again, progressing to a baby like cradle hold when squirming becomes thrashing. For about 10 minutes I hold her and repeat calmly that she can get up when she says " I won't play with the door". She cries. She screams. She makes the angry grunting noise and shoots daggers with her eyes. (Meanwhile Grant thinks this is alternately fun and wants his turn, or he screams because I am not paying attention to him.)

From the kitchen floor we progressed to the "time-out" spot. I instruct a crying Brianna to think about being a good listener and I'll be back when she's ready to say the words. Every 2-3 minutes for the next 30 minutes, I check on her. She does some fake crying, she sneaks out of time out to see the TV, she says shes ready and then refuses to say it, she says it in her meanest voice and yells at me.

People, this was not fun. This was torture.

Eventually I won. She said the words nicely and around 7:15 settled in to some Cheerios for dinner. Holy *&%#.

I think I may start researching boarding schools. If this is 4, I am not looking forward to 14!

Still Kickin'

I just felt the need to post something to recognize that I was still alive.

Since my last post:
1. We had a nice spring break at home. Sure everyone was sick but we relaxed a lot.
2. We are officially under contract on both homes... the one we're buying and the one we're selling. A few hurdles remain but it might be time to buy some boxes!
3. We stopped cleaning our house. (see #2)
4. We drove 3+ hours to swim in a pool and do nothing. Well actually, we went to campaign for my aunt who was running for local political office. It was a long boring day and unfortunately it didn't seem to help much.
5. Back to work... enter frantic-ness.
6. Found out that THIS SATURDAY is kindergarten registration for the new school district; became more frantic because we NEED to get in to the extended day program and that is first come first serve and we aren't actually residents yet and can we even register at all and if we wait until we are resident's there is NO way we are getting into the program we moved for!
7. Made a few phone calls... We can register by showing our contract on the new house. AND we don't even have to wait our turn... as a district teacher I was able to bend the rules and we can register at 8am. (We were originally assigned by last name and couldn't register until 3:00pm- Exactly when we had planned to be 1 hour away!)
8. WHEW!
9........

Well actually that might be it. I'm sure there is more but now I'm tired from typing without ever pressing the period. Maybe tomorrow I will tell you about my 4 going on 15 year old and her 40 minute temper tantrum/stubborn streak!